


Dreams of Winter

by verenabuck



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, Cousin Incest, Eventual Smut, F/M, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, My First AO3 Post, Past Rape/Non-con, Political Jon Snow, R Plus L Equals J, Slow Burn, not Daenerys friendly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-17
Updated: 2019-04-17
Packaged: 2020-01-15 10:49:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18497404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/verenabuck/pseuds/verenabuck
Summary: Sansa tries to navigate Winterfell and her people through winter, the battle against the dead and the war for the throne while navigating herself through falling in love with the man that came back with the dragon Queen.---This is my first time writing fanfic, but give it a chance! Some events from the past won't be show canon but changed for my plot. Enjoy!





	Dreams of Winter

**Author's Note:**

> Hello lovely people!  
> This is my first attempt at writing a fanfiction, I hope it isn't to horrible. Beforehand, I would like to say that English isn't my native language, since I'm from Germany, so I hope you won't be too strict with spelling or grammar mistakes. I would very much like for you to leave your feedback to this story, as I'm still unsure about what I think about it.  
> Furthermore, I don't know when I'll be able to update, but I'll do my best to keep the waits as short as possible. 
> 
> Lot's of love,  
> V

It was in the dead of night that Brienne had woken her, her strong hands shaking Sansa’s body underneath the many furs that covered it. “By the seven what happened?”, she asked alarmed, not quite sure if anything could be worse than the day behind her. “Mylady, I would never wake you if it wasn’t important, and I know that I don’t have any right to ask this of you, but I need your help”, she whispered, her usually broad voice sounded strange in the dark. “What is it?”, Sansa asked again, slowly getting to her senses and sitting up. “I...I can’t tell you milady, I can only show you”, Brienne sidestepped the question. “Well... Do I need my cloak?”, Sansa questioned and she handed her the clothing without answering. “I am really sorry Lady Sansa, but I don’t know anybody else who could help but you”, she repeated again. “It’s alright Brienne, just show me what the matter is”, Sansa yawned, she was in desperate need of sleep, and had told her the evening before, very explicitly, that she was to let nobody enter her chambers. The day had drained everything out of her. Seeing him and his so called Queen. Seeing the way he looked at her and being forced to welcome her with a smile under her roof, telling her that it was an honour to have her here. All that had made Sansa more exhausted than travelling to Castle Black in wet clothes while the snow fell down on her. Brienne nodded swiftly before guiding Sansa out of her chambers and into the sparsely illuminated halls of Winterfell.

They walked for what seemed an eternity and Sansa deeply regretted not wearing more than her nightshift and the cloak, since she thought that this would be quick, but she bit her tongue, not wanting to make Brienne more worried than she was anyway all the time. They came to a halt at one of the secret passageways that led into the kitchens (when he wanted to be alone, Robb had always hidden in one of them and it had always been Sansa, never Arya, to find him in the end, and so she couldn’t suppress a sad smile coming to her lips). Brienne opened the nearly invisible door to reveal a tall man standing right behind it. “You can come out now”, she told him and he slowly moved into the light of a nearby torch, Podrick, Brienne’s loyal squire, following him. She knew who was standing in front of her before Brienne introduced him. His hair was still as golden, if a bit dirty, as it was when she first saw him the day that King Robert arrived at Winterfell all those years back, but he seemed older now. Not necessarily less handsome, if one considered his long journey and desperate need of a bath and some good food. He had grown a beard, and some small wrinkles had made their way into the corner of his chillingly beautiful eyes, Cersei’s eyes, and onto his forehead (probably from worrying). “Lady Sansa, this is Ser Jaime Lannister. He’s coming to help in the battle against the dead”, Brienne finally said, nervously watching her reaction. “I know who he is”, was all she could say. ‘ _I know what he did_ ’. “My lady, I have come not only because of the battle. I have come to tell you that the Lannister army that my sister promised to sent, won’t come. She doesn’t plan on keeping her promise”, his voice was deep, not as deep as Jons, but the kind of deep that one imagines when thinking of a knight. “I expected as much. But if she is in King’s Landing, with her army, then why are you here?”, Sansa asked wearily. She would never be quick to trust a Lannister again. “I left...her. I know I’m not the grand army everyone expected, but this is as good as it’s gonna get. I don’t know if you know this, but not only Brienne made a vow to your mother to protect you. I did so too when she let me go. And I want to fulfill that vow, if you’ll let me”, he answered her, nothing but plain honesty was written in his face. She couldn’t quite posses his words before Brienne told them clearly that this wasn’t the safest place to be having small talk at. They all couldn’t help but agree with her and so they managed to get back to Sansa’s chamber as quietly as possible and hopefully without anyone seeing them. Or at least not the person that she knew Jaime Lannister didn’t want to see him.

“If I may speak freely, milady, I have known Ser Jaime for quite some time, he was the one who told me to find you and keep you safe, and I am quite sure of his good intentions”, Brienne began to speak once they were in the confinement of Sansa’s chamber. “It’s a good thing I trust you then, because he’s the only Lannister sibling that I don’t know”, Sansa simply said, sitting down at one of the chairs in front of the fireplace, while Brienne added some wood to it. “Lady Sansa, I know that this must all seem very strange and sudden to you, but there’s no other place to be for me besides here- protecting you”, Ser Jaime tried to explain again. “And from what would you like to protect me?”, Sansa asked, although she knew that there was enough danger for her already. “Cersei. The dragon queen that has arrived in your home just yesterday. The army of the dead. Whoever it is that you might fear”, he answered, again, she saw nothing but honesty in his eyes. Honesty was an unlikely thing to see in these green eyes that she knew so very well just in another face. “I have Brienne for that”, Sansa gave back quickly. “You have one sworn shield, but some powerful enemies. Please, my lady. I am begging you. Let me be in your service, you won’t regret it”, he pleaded with her, his eyes moving anxiously from her to Brienne, to Podrick and back to her again. “If I let you stay, I suppose you want me to protect you against Daenerys Targaryen as well?”, I asked, knowing his answer already. “Well, I don’t think she will be pleased by seeing me here...Let alone without the promised men.” Sansa sighed. As if she didn’t have enough problems already with her stupid brother, his stupid Queen and this stupid situation Jon had brought everyone in. “Fine. You may stay as my sworn sword and I will try to do everything in my power to protect you from this so called Queen if there is need to. Although I am not sure that I’m the right person for that, since I don’t have the impression that she likes me very much. However though, you need to hide until the morning. You can stay here”, she came to a decision, without thinking too long about it. She could see with only one glance that this man wasn’t the Kingslayer anymore. He was a honourable knight. “I thank you Lady Sansa, with all my heart”, without hesitation he drew his sword and lay it to her feet as she stood up. “I will shield your back and keep your counsel and give my life for yours if need be. I swear it by the old gods and the new”, he declared, looking up at her from his kneeling position, Lannister green eyes meeting icy, Tully blue. “And I vow, that you shall always have a place by my harth and meat and mead at my table and I pledge to ask no service of you that might bring you dishonour. I swear it, by the old gods and the new”, she answered and even though the four of them were secretly standing in her chambers in the middle of the night, and talking quieter than the occasion might afford, there was a sense of solemnity to the situation that couldn’t be denied. Still, Sansa couldn’t help but fall back into her chair, looking more tired than ever. “My lady, can I bring you anything?”, Brienne asked concerned. “No, thank you Brienne. I’m just exhausted, I’m sure you noticed that yesterday wasn’t quite easy on me”, Sansa mumbled, feeling the eyes of all three warriors on her. “I know milady, again, I am deeply sorry-”, Brienne started, but Sansa cut her off at once: “There’s nothing to be sorry about.” After a swift nod from the she-knight, she stood up again and walked over to the small table next to the chairs, pouring some ale in a mug and handing it Jaime Lannister. “You may leave us, I will see you in the morning”, she told both Brienne and Podrick before adding: “I have some questions for Ser Jaime.”

“It’s not the wine you’re used to, but we can’t afford such luxuries right now, I’m sure you’ll understand”, she told him as he took a deep sip. “At least it’s not ice cold water off a stream. Don’t worry, I’ve drunken worse”, he assured her, his eyes staring into the warm fire. “I’m sure you’re wondering why I decided to accept your services. You surely thought your chances were quite bad at least”, she started talking casually, her eyes wandering from his golden hand to his dirty clothes. “You’re quite right. Looking at the history of our houses, I definitely couldn’t expect for you to show me any kindness. But then Brienne told me that you are a just lady, a good friend, a clever woman. I simply had to try”, he answered easily, smoothly even. Sansa thought about all the question he wouldn’t, couldn’t, have a smooth answer to. “How could you push an innocent child out of the window of the highest tower of this castle?”, her lips moved without thinking. She didn’t know what she was doing. Didn’t know it since Jon was back. And the impulsiveness to welcome Jaime Lannister into her services without even considering what he or his family had done to her and hers was surely a part of the continuing frustration and confusement that she was in since last morning. Jaime sighed. “Did you let me stay just to torture me with the mistakes I made in the past?”, he asked back. _No_ , Sansa thought, _I made mistakes in the past as well. Trusting Joffrey. Trusting Cersei. Trusting Baelish. What you did...was much worse than making mistakes_. “I asked you a simple question”, she gave back, her eyes leaving his figure, focusing on the dancing flames. “I can’t give you a simple answer. I can apologise, and I do. I apologise for what I did to your brother. There’s no justification for it other than love. I don’t think you ever felt love like that, how could you, with everything that happened to you? I wanted to protect the person that was most important to me at that time. That’s all I ever wanted for most of my life. I cannot give you another answer”, he said, his words firm, yet still full of regret. “Your family killed my father, my mother and my brother. Give me a reason to forgive that”, she demanded then, not satisfied at all by what he said. Of course she wasn't. She knew she wasn’t gonna be the moment she asked that stupid question. All of the questions, all of the thoughts in her head were stupid and useless at the moment but she had to get them off her chest. This was the first time that she was superior to a Lannister. The first time she was in the role of judge, while a lion was crumbling before her, not the other way around. “What do you want to hear? That every Lannister is a monster? Not everyone of them, Lady Sansa. Most of them yes, and most of them are dead. Nearly everyone paid the price for all the crimes they commited. My father is dead, killed by his own son. My children are dead, although two of them innocent, they paid the price for what Cersei and I did. Winter is here and House Stark will endure it. House Lannister probably won’t”, Sansa could hear how hard he tried to stay calm as he spat out the last bit, it quite satisfied her. “You said I don’t know love like you do, but you don’t know how it is to lose your brother. The brother, that was always there for you, that played with you, held you when you cried, watched over you when you were sick, danced with you and told you he loved you. You don’t know how that feels like. Robb was a better man than all of your house combined. Yet your house killed him”, this time it was her who was struggling to compose herself. “I know that your brother was a good man. He would have been a good king. I never wanted him dead. Maybe I would have killed him in battle if it would have come down to that, but what happened to him...He didn’t deserve that. Your mother, I had great respect for her, didn’t deserve that. I am sorry, truly, Lady Sansa, for all that my family has cost yours. I will try to repay you for it in every way that I can, and if it means dying for you, then I’ll gladly do it”, he stood up now, looking directly at her, his eyes forcing her to stand up as well. She searched for any mockery in his words, for any lie, but she found none. In front of her stood a man full of regret and sadness. “I...will try to forgive you. Considering that you...you aren’t your father or sister...or son. But I can’t promise you anything”, she managed to say, the pity she felt for him was overwhelming. “I will forever be in your debt”, he said gratefully. Sansa nodded, sitting down again.

“Why did you leave her? All of a sudden?”, was the next thing she asked after they had listened to the crackling fires for a few moments. “My eyes were opened. I have been blind to her...her scheming and madness for years but when she...when she knew what was happening up here in the north and refused to send the help she promised...That finally opened my eyes. She is a monster. She’s no less mad then the king I killed. And she used me, probably all our lives. Tyrion tried to tell me, tried to warn me, but I never listened. I was as naive with her as you were with Joffrey when you met him...Only that you didn’t love him like I loved Cersei. You could see him for what he really was way quicker than I did. I’m a slow learner. But I finally learned”, he answered, clearly uncomfortable, but he answered none the less. “Thank you, for being honest with me. At least someone is, and I appreciate that very much”, Sansa said, finally done with her torturous questions. “I’m a man with nothing left to lose. Honesty won’t hurt me.”

Sansa woke from the uncomfortable position she somehow fell asleep in on the chair by the loud knocking on the door. “Who is it?”, Sansa asked alarmed, Jaime jumped out of his stool the minute she did. “It’s me my lady”, Brienne answered from the other side. Both of them sighed a breath of relief before letting her enter. “I brought your dress and told your handmaiden that there was no need for her”, Brienne informed her, placing the black, strong fabric upon her bed before handing her a jug of hot water. “Thank you”, Sansa said, glad that she could wash last night off of her face. “You should wash yourself as well. As soon as...the situation is figured out I’ll see to it that you will get a proper bath”, Sansa told Jaime, before turning to Brienne, who eyey her strained appearance worriedly. “Don’t turn around”, she ordered Jaime, before helping Sansa dress as best as she could. With her dress on, that somehow felt like a sort of armor, she felt stronger, somewhat ready for the next encounter with the dragon queen. “You look like a true northern queen milady”, Brienne told her, pride swinging in her voice as Sansa put on her cloak and let her red hair swing freely over it, only one braid holding it out of her face. “Indeed my lady. Every bit a queen”, Ser Jaime agreed at once, his eyes marvelling over the Lady of Winterfell. “You shouldn’t say that too loud. I expect Daenerys Targaryen views such things as treason”, was the only thing Sansa said before leading them out of her room, Brienne walking behind Jaime to shield him.

The great hall was already at buzz when they entered but everyone, from Lyanna Mormont to Lord Varys stopped their talking when they entered. Sansa’s eyes were fixed on Jon, who sat in his chair, in the middle of the huge table, his eyes fixed on the beautiful, white haired woman next to him until they darted up and saw his half-sister walking through the silent hall, followed by the Kingslayer and Brienne of Tarth. Whispers and murmurs followed them to the high table, “Jaime Lannister”, “the Kingslayer”, “the Oathbreaker”, “Lannister scum”, were only some of what Sansa could hear, but she tried not to be bothered by it, well aware that Jaime wasn’t bothered by it either. Her eyes stayed on Jon, ignoring how Daenerys stood up, anger raging inside of her, and she watched his expression change from shock to pure anger. She took a deep breath and walked up the few steps, taking a halt in front of her chair as Jon shot up, hissing at her: “What is this? What is he doing here?” Sansa gathered her courage, before answering loud and clearly: “Ser Jaime has come to pledge himself to me and I accepted his service. He is from now on a loyal friend of house Stark. He is under my protection.” Wondering, confused looks were upon her, only three of them, which she could feel just as intensely, were different. Bran, who looked just as indifferent as ever, even in the face of them man who nearly killed him, Tyrion Lannister, hand of Daenerys Targaryen, who watched Sansa in awe and looked quite happy to see his brother well and her own sister Arya, which was the most shocking for Sansa. Arya, she had thought, would rage at her for taking Ser Jaime in, but she simply nodded, accepting her decision. A warm feeling spread inside of her, a feeling that wasn’t too familiar. Arya trusted her. “It is not in your place to protect him, Lady Sansa”, Daenerys sneered, her eyes switching from Sansa, to Jaime, to Jon and back to Sansa in nervously haste. “He is the man who murdered my father. When I was a girl my brother and I swore to revenge this crime, whatever it may cost. You won’t stand in between this”, she demanded, looking at one of her Unsullied, Sansa didn’t know his name, who came closer, ready to take him down. “Ser Jaime, may have murdered the mad king, but he did it to save all of the seven kingdoms. I know this story, not from him, but from a person, who couldn’t have cared for his well being any less. It was Ser Sandor Clegane who told me the story of how Ser Jaime killed Aerys in the right way. He’s now a companion of my brother, your grace. Ser Jaime killed your father because he wanted to burn all of Kings Landing with wildfire. He had guarded him for hours while the mad king said nothing else but ‘burn them all’ and laughed about it. Ser Jaime saved half a million people from being burned.” Sansa hadn’t heard Arya talk that loud since before they left to go south, but now her voice cut through the tension that stood between every person in the hall like a wall of steel. Daenerys kept quiet, she clearly fought back against a storm of anger. “What my sister says is true. I saw it with my own eyes”, Bran said emotionless. Sansa closed her eyes. Everytime he talked, she realized more and more that this truly wasn’t her little brother anymore. Had he been a real human being with feelings he would have never defended Jaime Lannister. But right now it was to her advantage, that he had become what he called the three eyed raven. Everybody in the room watched as Daenerys made her next move, pulling on Jon’s arm to turn him around to her. “Do something about this or I will”, she threatened. Jon was, as often, at loss of words and Sansa took her chance, talking not only to the queen but to everyone in this room. “Ser Jaime is a guest in Winterfell and as such, he will be treated with the right of every guest. No harm will come to him under this roof. As for the Lannister army...Queen Cersei never planned on sending them. Ser Jaime is the only one that came, but that isn’t his fault. Cersei fooled you”, Sansa directed the last words at Jon, at his queen, at Tyrion and Varys. “But I could have told you that all along. She doesn’t care for this fight. She only cares for her throne”, she added. “No one asked me.” The banners of the north were furious now, asking why nobody had asked for their Lady’s counsel.

“With the Lannister forces or without them, we will have to fight. I have seen the army of the dead march to Winterfell. They will be upon us in less than a fortnight. We cannot dwell on things such as arguing about Jaime Lannister or the army that didn’t come with him. We have to prepare”, Bran’s icy voice brought everybody to silence. Sansa stared at him, horrified at his words. “Less than a fortnight?”, Jorah Mormont asked, his face gone pale. “Yes. Without a doubt. We need to make use of the time that we have left”, he spoke clear, with no room for misinterpretation. “Fine. You heard my brother. Everybody who can forge a sword will be needed in the smithy, the ones that still need practice will gather outside where Arya, Brienne and Ser Gregor will teach them”, Jon declared, he could deal better with this news than the angry queen at his side and the question of the Kingslayers fate. A grand turmoil started in the hall, everybody shoving outside to go their ways, even the dragon Queen, who, with one look at her female adviser, Missandei, Sansa thought she was called, vanished out of the room. The only people left now were herself, Jon, Ser Davos, Jaime, Bran, Sam and Tyrion. “I need to go to the godswood so that I can watch the every step of the Nightking”, Bran announced, quite unbothered by what had happened at the news he had broken. “I’ll take you”, Sam volunteered and pushed Bran’s wheelchair out of the great hall.

“I’ll have to go to the kitchens to check on the food supplement”, Sansa announced, it was one of her daily tasks, but she somehow felt the need to state that she was leaving as well. “Wait”, Jon grabbed her thin arm in his strong, huge hand and shot a warning glare at Jaime that told him clearly to step aside. Jaime did so without questioning when he saw Sansa’s assuring look and made his way to greet his younger brother properly. “What?”, Sansa asked, annoyed that she fought away the tears in her eyes at his touch. “Jaime Lannister? You have a sworn shield”, he whispered angrily. Sansa sighed, she knew he wouldn’t let this slide. “Brienne can’t always be there to protect me. I need him for his counsel and his sword. He isn’t a bad man”, Sansa said, although not quite convinced herself. “I will protect you. I am protecting you”, he said, still quite furious with her. “You have your queen to protect Jon”, she spat at him, sounding colder than she originally intended to be. Her words had hurt him but in she didn’t regret them. He had hurt her too with bending the knee to a foreign queen and so obviously taking her as his lover. “Sansa that’s- I will always protect you, no matter what-”, he sighed, he wasn’t made for these kind of arguments with her, she outsmarted him every time. “That doesn’t matter now. We have things to attend to, I will see you later”, she told him cooly, before easing herself out of his grip and walking towards the door of the hall, Jaime following suit and Tyrion waddling behind him. “I thought we could talk for a moment my lady”, she heard his voice saying, it had become unfamiliar to her over the years. “Then come along”, she told him before exiting.

“I always knew you were a force to be reckoned with, Lady Sana”, Lord Tyrion told her, waddling beside her after they left the kitchens and were alone on their way to her solar that she had placed in Robb’s old chambers. “I’m not surprised to see you alive and thriving, happy yes, but not surprised”, he stated, walking in as Jaime held the door for both of them. Jaime looked at her, silently asking if he should stay guard outside or come in as well, with a nod of her head she motioned him to follow her. “I am happy to see you are in good health as well”, Sansa smiled, it was genuine, she held no grudge against Tyrion, and always remembered the kindness he showed her in their time together. “Although I never thought we would see eachother again, let alone under these circumstances”, she added, offering both brothers a seat and a glass of ale. Tyrion scrunched his nose but said nothing at the rather foul tasting liquid. “I take it, that by circumstances, you mean my position as hand of the Queen”, Tyrion guessed, one look at Sansa proved him right. “Well, from being sentenced to death to becoming hand of Daenerys Targaryen, that’s quite the way, even for you little brother”, Jaime mused, he seemed more at ease now. “She’s not a bad person...Well, she did some things that may make her seem like it but...I know her. She wants what’s best for the realm and she’s here, helping in this suicide mission instead of taking her throne”, Tyrion tried to reason with them. “How does she plan to take Kings Landing...If it comes to it?”, Sansa asked, she didn’t believe a thing of what her former husband said. She had been told of what happened to Sam’s father and brother and all of the food supplies they had, supplies that they had needed. She had heard what happened to the people that stood in her way. “With fire and blood I reckon?”, Sansa asked again, watching Tyrion’s reaction closely, to see if his face would betray him. And it did. “We’ll have to wait and see what happens after the long night”, Jaime interfered, sensing that the tension in the room was growing rapidly. “Yes, we’ll have to wait and see, if we survive.”


End file.
